Cockroaches Want My Lasagna! It’s War


The lasagna is mineI’ll be honest; I was annoyed when I realized that I would have to write an entire blog about cockroaches. I hate the things. Given a choice, I would much rather be on a deserted island with a bunch of timeshare sales agents. A few coconuts and really good aim and I would be able to get rid of the timeshare agents. But how do you get rid of something that can (apparently) survive a nuclear explosion? My goodness, cockroaches are tougher to get rid of than a really clingy mother-in-law.

So, grudgingly, I did some research and found out that cockroaches are a lot more than just a side dish in prison – they are actually quite fascinating creatures. They come in all shapes and sizes and with various super powers. Some fly, some hiss and some even give off a strange odor when they are under threat (also like some humans I know…funny). They can even hold their breath for more then 40 minutes. So don’t flush them down the loo to get rid of them, it’s pointless.

Cockroach warWhat’s worse, if you get rid of one species of cockroach, there are about 3999 other species just waiting to infest your house and to inhabit that left over lasagna that has been on your mind since the weekend.

Taking into account all of the information I gathered from my extensive research, I have now come to a conclusion. A completely undeniable fact. Cockroaches are a secret terrorist nation sent to overthrow or enslave us humans. It’s quite clear really. It really has been all along. Think about it for a second, the super powers, the sneakiness and the stubbornly clinging to life…Mmm?

I definitely I think I’m right here. They have run-of-the-mill Pest Control companies running scared. If cockroaches can survive a nuclear blast, then how can any ordinary pest controller get rid of them?

I’ve experienced first hand that it takes people cut from a special cloth to do the job effectively. Like my extremely professional colleague from Rentokil Pest Control who tackled my cockroach problem with almost alarming efficiency. She came in, sized up my kitchen and had put her finger on the root cause of my cockroach issues before I could even say “infestation”.

Nowadays the approach to getting rid of any pest infestation is state of the art – no more spraying gallons of poison into every available crevice and niche. Oh no. That was the old days. Effective pest control these days is all about understanding the nature of the problem. Getting into the mind of the pest, you could say. Understanding where they are coming from, how they are getting in, what is attracting them, and why they want to stay. And to do that takes expertise, training and years of experience in the field. Once you have that figured out, the rest is relatively simple; using targeted and specific pesticides aimed at a particular pest.

I have come to the conclusion – simply put – that my colleagues at Rentokil Pest Control must be Secret Agents; government operatives trained in the art of psychological warfare, to rid us of the enemy.

I think its safe to say…it’s war.

A Smoking Rat, a Ride on the ‘Cockroach Express' and other News
Of Bamboo and Rats - Flowers and Famines

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *